Things to Ponder

If the universe is everything and it is expanding, what is it expanding into?
How do you tell if you run out of invisible ink?
When sign-makers go on strike, is there anything written on the signs?
What do you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If the #2 pencil is so popular, then why is it #2?
Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
How many licks does it take to get to the middle of a tootsie roll pop?
Why does slow down and slow up mean the same thing?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns do the others have to drown too?
If a cow laughed would milk come out of its nose?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read all right?
Is there another word for synonym?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
What's another word for thesaurus?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
Why are the songs that get stuck in my head always little kid songs?
If fire fighters fight fires and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
If a vampire can't see himself in a mirror, why is his hair always so neat?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread.
How can someone draw a blank?
If the land is free, why is someone always trying to sell me something?
Why do we have to dry raincoats?
Why is it that when you tell a person that there are 400 billion stars in the sky and he'll believe you, tell him a bench is wet and he has to touch it?
If you're born again do you have two belly buttons?
How does the guy who works the snowplow get to work in the morning?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID?
Why do you have to pay toll on a freeway?
If the cops arrest a mime do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
If the entire world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
Why don't more psychics win the lottery?
Are there Seeing Eye humans for blind dogs?
Why do they say new and improved? It can't be new if it was improved can it?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
When someone says, "You know what they say..." Who are they?
Why are they called apartments when they are stuck together?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for monosyllabic?
Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
Why do we label underwear as a pair?
How much money, in pennies, is lying on the streets of the world?
Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a near miss? Shouldn't it be called a near hit instead of a near miss?
Was the only reason God gave us a shin is to find things in the dark?
Does a fish get cramps after eating?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
How do they get deer to cross at the yellow sign?
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
If the speed of light is 186,000 miles per second, what is the speed of dark?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices daily, how come nothing in the store is free yet?
Why, in a country with freedom of speech, are there phone bills?
If you have an open mind is there a chance your brain might fall out?